Bad Habit
by Loves-Chihuahuas
Summary: Light had observed many strange things since being chained to the world famous detective, L, better known to him as Ryuzaki, but this took the cake. No slash.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note, nor do I own a miniature bunny(sob). Death Note and its characters belongs to Ohba and Obata, not me.

**Important info:** No slash, no real warning. It's quite drabble-y.

_**Bad Habit**_

Light had observed many strange things since being chained to the world famous detective, L, better known to him as Ryuzaki, but this took the cake.

L had sat like a spider monkey while on the toilet (to be perfectly clear about the strangeness of this, he was _using_ said toilet at the time); tackled Matsuda to the floor to lick off the speck of jelly from his hand when he had been low on sugar; suggested to a mortified Misa(and in front of an even more traumatized team) that Misa use tampons designed for a stronger flow, then suggested to an enraged Light that he use said tampons to relieve his 'man-period'; thrown a number of candies into Aizawa's afro when the grumpy man was not looking; farted then blamed it on poor old Watari (who wasn't even in the room at the moment); woke Light up in the middle of the night with his toes shoved into in the mortified teen's mouth., etc. To say the least, L did many things that were strange and repulsive, and he did them without any regard to those around him. But _this…_

The detective sat next to the younger genius on his swivel chair, his right index finger buried up to the second knuckle in his nostril while he lazily scanned internet files on Yotsuba. Watching in a mixture of voiceless fascination and horror, Light 's eyes widened as the pale man withdrew his finger from his nostril, now coated in shining green snot and dried boogies. L inspected the disgusting finger for a few moments with an apathetic look on his face, Light praying that the detective wouldn't wipe it on his shirt (or even worse, _Light's _shirt). He found the detective to do something much worse than dispose of his nose discharge on clothing, however. L popped the finger into his mouth, sucked on it for a moment, then withdrew his finger, now clean, as his adam's apple dipped to swallow the nasal deposit. Light felt his stomach clench and roil in agony. He opened his mouth to speak, or perhaps throw up, but faltered as the detective inserted the same finger into his other nostril.

Light could almost feel his face turn a sickly green color. He had to stop this madness. "L," he snapped in a low voice.

The other male turned to look in question at the teen, still digging languidly. He had the nerve to look innocent as he questioned, "Yes, Light-kun?"

Light struggled for a moment to form the words he thought he'd never have to say to anyone above the age of ten, let alone to a 26-year-old multi-billionaire genius detective, "Don't… pick your nose!"

L quirked his head to the side, his finger still obstinately crammed into his distorted nostril, "Why, Light-kun?"

The teen was very close to banging his pretty little head on the desktop in frustration. He replied with weakly controlled venom in his voice, "Because it's _disgusting, _L. It's completely unsanitary and a terrible habit that only children—"

"Ah," the socially challenged man chained to him interrupted with his same, unaffected air as always, "But it is not as unsanitary as one would suppose; nasal mucus acts as a first defense to catch debris and germs breathed in through the nostrils. Removing this entrapped debris with one's finger, instead of a tissue, will not only save on the costs of purchasing tissues but also reduce the injuries often incurred in forcing the mucus out through blowing the material out. In then ingesting the mucus, the threat of becoming ill also decreases; the extraordinary stomach acid humans contain breaks down possibly harmful pathogens while also effectively recycling the mucus back into the body. Plus, it is a very common 'bad habit' among adults—in fact, it is the most common of bad habits."

Needless to say, Light found himself a little floored by the detective's terrifyingly logical defense for his… boogie digging. Ah, but wait—he didn't cover one of his bases! "It's still disgusting," Light countered swiftly.

To this, L slowly tilted his head to the other side, his neck creaking like an unoiled hinge as he did so, and replied softly, "I find nothing unfavorable about it. It is often said that those who mock things simply are too afraid to try them and take a chance to understand them… so, perhaps, if some assistance were given…" Before Light could even think to put up a fight, the detective had removed the finger from his nostril and inserted it into the gaping mouth of one Light Yagami.

Completely forgetting to bite the man, Light dislodged the other's snot-coated finger and fell out of his chair to spit violently on the floor. L watched with some amusement above, placing the same finger in his mouth to clean off the remaining mucus, as Light practically forced himself to drool in order to remove the snot without swallowing it.

"I-You-what the hell Ryuzaki! ?" Light raged from the floor, still spitting furiously every few moments.

"It's also a bad habit, especially of old men in nursing homes, to spit on the floor," L droned emotionlessly on the chair above the suffering teenager. Light growled at the ever-calm detective, attempting to righten himself n order to impart some 'revenge' on the other male.

"Perhaps this is the sort of thing where one only likes their own 'brand'?" L mused as Light moved to punch the detective. Making up his mind in a flash, the pale man dodged the other's fist and, shifting his weight and center of gravity, used his bare foot to knock the teen back onto the floor. Light was thrown to the floor, the breath knocked painfully out of him, and L took the opportunity to settle himself on top of the boy's quads, effectively pinning him down. Wasting no time, L shoved his finger none too gently into the other's right nostril. He rooted around in the defenseless teen's nose while the other was still incapacitated from having all the air forcibly removed from their lungs.

His breath returned soon returned, however, and Light screamed and snorted frantically at the man raping his nostril, "L, GET YOUR _FINGER _OUT OF MY _NOSE!"_

"But ofcourse," the other stated with a small, creepy small, transferring the finger into Light's mouth like a viper striking.

"Mmmmfft!" came the muffled protest as L scraped the mucus off on the other's teeth when Light so conveniently bit him. L's left hand then clamped down over Light's nose and mouth, his right massaging his throat; he was forcing him to swallow the snot. The adam's apple of the other genius finally dipped, ensuring that the deposit had been swallowed.

Light lay there, with L lazily restraining him, and panted, overcome by that fact that he had been forced to pick his nose and eat his boogers.

Regaining his breath again, Light growled at the smug detective above him, "L, I am going to beat the _crap _out of you!"

The sudden sound of approaching footsteps, however, forced the two geniuses to quickly assume their normal positions in their chairs, lest the team, coming in to start the workday, found out that they had been fighting over snot…

Later that night, when the team had left for the evening and both geniuses had retired, Light found himself in the perfect situation to extract his revenge. The detective had fallen asleep, a rare occurrence, and Light crept across their plush mattress soundlessly. Squatting next to the detective, he slowly opened the other's mouth, placing the soft object inside and gently closing it.

"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose, " he murmured to the sleeping figure. He then lay down, smothering an evil cackle as he imagined the morning L would never forget.

He woke the next morning to find L retching over the side of the bed, Light's sweaty sock from the previous day clutched in his hand as he tried to remove the taste that only a dirty sock held in one's mouth for hours could produce. Light did not bother to hide his maniacal laugh, nor did either genius provide an explanation to the shocked team later that day for their most ferocious fight to date.

END

A/N: O.O I… can't believe I just wrote that. * hides face in shame * I originally wrote this just thinking that I'd do a quick drabble on how I thought L would be the type to pick his nose, and then it turned into this… Well, review and tell me if I traumatized you! XD


End file.
